Quiet spaces of time where reflection comes upon you organically - and majestically.  Simple, but profound, ah-ha moments.  And spontaneous moments of big laughter.  Today, I was lucky to experience all of this... :)

I believe I'm here to explore, inquire, dive deep.  And with all the results of my investigating it's then up to me to create - to be, to breathe deep and then act with the most authentic part of myself I can bring forth.   This is the grand adventure.

I'm tired of the doing.

Today I am going to absorb the unfoldment of this amazing spring day.

I'm drawn to the empty garden bed out in the back yard.  The soil is rich and brown, moist with hope and purpose ... allowing me to notice the subtle communication with this land I live on.  Right now, everything is speaking to me through color, sound, smell and GROWTH.  It is a perfect day to slow down and listen.

Now, I'm going to stop typing...

Today was a frazzled day.

The kind of day I would like to forget...and know deep within myself that tomorrow I will do and be better.  I will have more patience, more understanding, more space and love at my ready disposal. 

And then I went to my friend who cuts my hair.  A much needed appointment, as my "do" was much needed for "doing".

She spoke easily and kindly, as I calmly started to unravel, telling her - as we so often do -our hairdresser and friend maybe too much. 

But today was different.

Her responses were level and clear ... and I slowly started to realize... everything I needed to hear.  It was as if she was being channeled by a gentle, familiar guide in spirit ... I was aware that I was being "spoken" to.  It was wisdom coming through, well, kind of an unusual medium for me ... my hairdresser.

She was addressing issues for me (probably unaware how directly) from 3 years ago and in the moment - all at once.  I had compassion and understanding for those situations that had both exhausted me and brought me to anger.  I clearly saw that MY stuff and my stories were in front of those very situations that caused my anguish.

All that...and a kick ass haircut.  No kidding, spirit is a powerful force.  That is one amazing, voodoo hairdresser.

In my house of prayer, my temple...I honor love. 

True to myself love.
 
Love that can not possible be given to anyone else - without first cracking open my own heart - so that all of the passionate, raw desire for living can flow out of my form...and back in...leaving glorious radiance.

This love is mine.  Mine to give and mine to receive.  I take ownership and responsibility for this love.

In my house of prayer, my temple... I honor integrity.

Look myself in the mirror Integrity.

This kind of integrity does not dip into self accommodating comfort talk.  You know, the kind of thing that I might say to myself to make a situation or behavior "ok".  I believe holding myself accountable will make my smile real and gets me a solid 8 hours of sleep.

In my house of prayer, my temple... I honor family and clan.

The kind of community that is diligent in it's efforts to uplift, celebrate and support the relationships that nourish our lives. 

In my house of prayer, my temple...I honor my sacredness.

I can dance with this sacredness in the undulating movement of a strong tide as I allow my body to move with the waves.   I hear this same sacredness in my children's steady breathing as they dream about the life that is unforlding before them.  I feel this sacredness in my lover's hands as they flow over my body in the early morning before daybreak.

In my house of prayer, my temple... I honor gratitude and service.  And yes, I am overwhelmingly thankful...and I am so blessed...and I gladly give my free will to serve at the pleasure of the Divine. 

                                                   
                                                                               Yesterday i could not understand.

            I can only dream a projection of tomorrow.



The only limitations are what i can't imagine...............and my imagination is limitless. 

Maira Kalman... my new heroine.  I love her artwork, her writing...her opinions.  I would really like to hang out with Maira.

Check out 'The Pursuit of Happiness' from the NY Times;

http://Kalman.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/01/29/the-inauguration-at-last/?8ty&emc+ty

A treat for the eyes, the heart and the mind. 

I just listened to our President, Barack Obama, give his inauguration speech.  It was the most inspiring, intelligent and loving speech I've ever heard from a politician in the present moment. 

I'm stunned.  And I am hopeful.

What Obama seems to be able to do with ease is raise people up - all people - without tearing anyone down.  No small feat.  It's much easier to point fingers, blame and condemn.  He calls on each of us to take responsibility for our lives.  He is calling on us to take stock in how we spend our time, how we live in our communities and the choices we make for ourselves and our families.  I think... he's asking us to live with honor and dignity.  What a concept in our world as it is today - so many excuses and validations for not rising to the occasion and doing the right thing.

When I watch Obama, he radiates truth through his words (which is just insane, because, well, he's a politician).  You can tell he believes in the individual and the power of the collective.  He believes...  you can see it on his face.

Hard choices.  Work.  Humility.  Compassion.  My hope is that the we can live up to Barack Obama's belief of who we are.

As another January begins, I'm left with some sweet memories and some of the bi-polar low of the season's end.  I do love the act of giving and Christmas is such a great time of year to acknowledge how grateful I am to the people in my life.  I really would rather give than receive - the whole process is just so much fun.  But I believe it's an art to do both well - give and receive.  And it's important for us to do both.  We learn about each other through these acts.  Reflecting upon the last week or two of tremendous generousity of friends, family and clients, I am touched by such graciousness and abundant hearts.  Aren't we blessed?

I think about the amazing gifts I was given... and my most favorite was a book that my mother (Loie) put together - a collection of my family photos over the past year.  It must contain 80 pictures.  Lucky for us, Loie has taken up photography as her retired hobby , although I think she is semi-pro by now.  She's the president of the regional photography club and she must have over $20,000 on photography equipment.  Above all she has a keen and intutive eye.  Her photos are stunning.  My children have become her muse, and we have so many wonderful memories captured on film.

Please be clear, I am not a scrapbooking woman.  It's just not my thing.  But I want as badly as the next Mom to have memories preserved and kept for my family and especially my children as they grow.  For someone to put that all together (painstakingly time-consuming) - and in such a beautiful way - well it's a beautiful thing.  A gift to remember a year in the life of my family and also an artistic tribute to my mom's time and talent.  Thanks Mom.  I love you so much.

My second favorite gift (given to the whole family) was a book called 'Sunshine on My Shoulders'.  Complete with a CD containing the John Denver song.  I'm not sure why, but when I opened it (it was from my most favorite cousin... Ninita) tears sprang to my eyes.  John Denver seeped into my consciousness after he died - sadly.  I love his music - it's simplicity and pure beauty.  Just recently, we all sat down and watched the PBS special on his life, so the girls know all about him.  The book is lovely in everyway and speaks to where I'm at right now in my life.  How did you know, Ninita?  As always, you just get it.  I'm so glad you're in my life...thank you.

Here's to more love, peace and light in 2009.